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How to Clog a Toilet in 3 Seconds Flat

October 2, 2018

Yeah, you read that right. How to clog a toilet... not unclog it. We are officially 4 days from our big day and it has been unbelievably busy around here. I am possibly, no scratch that, I AM the luckiest woman alive. The past weekend I was out of town on a business trip and my Love Bug got so much done around here. From taking all of our wedding decorations to the "venue" to her cutting grass. She sure knows how to be such an amazing support system for our little family. Yes I know I get a little sidetracked talking about her. It's part of being in love right? So, without further ado, I am sure you're ready to read how I happened to clog a toilet.

 

Well yesterday was my cleaning day. I'm talking about a deep clean that I'm not sure this house has had in a LONG while. I asked my friend Caren to come help me so that maybe we could tackle it all and get everything from to do to done. My stress level is so high that any help is more than appreciated.

 

Here is how the day went...

First I had my very first panic attack while grabbing some last minute supplies for the wedding then I stopped and got some gas (which I prepaid then almost drove off without even filling up) and headed home. Caren got to the house a little after I unloaded my Jeep.

 

After we talk about our plan of attack on the army of dust bunnies and blankets of dust, we divide and conquer. Caren is beebopping around the house just a sweeping and dusting and cleaning everything from top to bottom while I was tackling our room, bathroom, and laundry. I swear she is like speedy Gonzales. I would go from the laundry room to our room and come back and she would be on the next task. I'm just trying to keep my head above water and attempt my luck at multitasking. I am the queen of multi tasking gone wrong by the way. I'm folding laundry and putting it away while I have our toilet soaking in this new bleach scrub I found at the Dollar General. Once I get the clothes hung up and stuffed in the drawer I grab my handy cleaning rag and head to our porcelain throne. I never use one of those scrubbing brushes because I feel like I can get just as down and dirty with my hands and a rag. 

 

I'm wiping and scrubbing and go to flush the dirty water so I can clean it again. Yes, I always clean it twice. While the water starts swooshing around the bowl it was like some sort of black hole opened up and ya'll it happened in such slow motion... that toilet bowl SUCKED THAT DAMN RAG RIGHT OUT OF MY HAND!! It went swish and gone. All I could do in my head was scream "Nooooooooo!" 

So here I am, squatted in front of this toilet looking at it like it is some monster that ate my favorite toy. How in the hell does this happen? I'm 33 years old and I have cleaned toilets the same way for atleast 15 years. I have the same clean, flush, clean process that my mom taught me all those years ago. But today, of all days, 5 days before we are to have wedding guests at our home, I lose a rag to the abyss of a our septic tank. 

 

Well, I guess its time for me to text the Love Bug. I wonder how she's gonna react. I know she is used to my shenanigans. Our snapchats are full of me spilling noodles everywhere or I have to buy her some new shorts because I washed and dried her chapstick. I always tell her life with me is never boring....

I message her and wait for my reply. After a few minutes she sends me back some laughing emoji faces and all she says is (which this is one of the million reasons I love her) "it's ok baby, long as it makes it through the pipes." 

☝️☝️☝️

That right there just shows just how much she loves me. 

 

I hope this makes you realize just how vulnerable we all are. No matter how perfect you think somebody else's life is, remember that they more than likely have daily screw ups too. 

 

Just an FYI, there could potentially be a SEPTIC TANK blog post very soon. 😂🤣😂

 

Happy Tuesday!

-Patricia

A Gypsy Soul 

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