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It's Friday, I Ain't Got No Job: An Embarrassing Story

August 17, 2018

Have you ever had an embarrassing moment? Ya know, one in which you want to crawl in a hole and never come out? Yeah, I feel like these happen to me quite frequently and sometimes I just have to laugh and move on. I mean, what is the point of literally crawling in a hole? There are bugs and stuff in there. I love sharing with ya'll my crazy and eventful life. I feel like I connect with people when I show how vulnerable I can be. I promise, my life is FULL of  mishaps, forgotten deodorant, and food in my hair. It is something that I have just come to embrace. 

 

A few years back, I had a friend set me up with a job interview at the clinic she was leaving. Ya see, she is super duper smart and she was headed off to podiatry school. So, there was about to be an opening at this clinic and I have been in the medical profession since I was 21 and I love helping people. It was a perfect fit. So, I got up the morning of my interview, got ready and put my fancy black pantsuit on. I did my hair (which is always an adventure) and slapped on my war paint (also known as make-up). I grabbed my North Face rain jacket and headed out the door. You know what jacket I'm talking about right? The waterproof outer shell that has Velcro in all the weird spots and zippers on the inside so you can put that fleece part in there and stay warm? I think it's rated for some sort of Antarctic subzero temperatures. Yeah, that one. 

 

I drive the 30 minutes over to my interview in the rain and go inside. I am going to ROCK this thing. I am so ready. I have my resume in hand and I just know that my STELLAR personality is going to seal the deal. I check in with the receptionist and have a seat in the waiting room. I'm just hanging out, playing snake on my phone (if you are as old as me, you remember this game!) and waiting for them to let me know it's GO TIME. I wait... and wait... and wait. Finally after about 30 minutes I walk back up to the receptionist and ask how much longer it's going to be. "Oh, I forgot you were out there. The person who is going to interview you isn't going to make it in today. We are going to have to reschedule." she tells me. Well isn't that just fantastic. I have my game face on and I am ready for business and this lady tells me we gotta reschedule?? Talk about a total let down. 

 

I leave the office building and since it's Friday and I ain't got no job, I ain't got shit to do--- If you've seen the movie, you get it. Anyways, I decide to run by my absolute FAVORITE store. Lowe's. Yes, I could grab my cup of coffee and walk around that store for hours. Which is precisely what I did. I meander through the garden section, then to the appliances, back through the bathroom showroom, and finally I find myself in the paint department. I love all those bright colors in the swatches. I mean, I adore anything that makes life cheerful.

 

Remember that rain jacket I put on earlier in the morning? I still have it on at this point...

 

I'm standing there, basking in the rainbows of Behr and Valspar when all of a sudden I feel a tap on my shoulder. This sweet looking older man was just tapping away and I turned and said "yes?" I don't know how he got the courage up to do this because when I asked him, he replied "ma'am, you have something stuck on your back." His voice was just a shaking like a leaf on a tree. Me, being completely unaware, reached around and I felt it. Yep, pretty sure that's fabric I feel. I wrapped my fingers around it, yanked it off that stupid piece of Velcro and what did I see when I pulled my hand back in front of me?? 

 

A PAIR OF BLACK LACE PANTIES! Ya'll, I about passed out right there in the middle of Lowe's. When I went to "dewrinkle" my rain jacket in the dryer, a pair of my black lace panties got hung up on that Velcro and I was OBLIVIOUS! I quickly thanked that ole fella and I darted out of Lowe's. I was MORTIFIED and I swore I would NEVER set foot in there again. Matter of fact, I am pretty sure I didn't go back until I changed my hair color.

 

I am a firm believer that God either gives or takes away based on what we need. I am certain that God took away my interview that morning because He did not want me making an utter fool of myself by having these UNDERGARMENTS stuck to my back! We did reschedule and I did in fact get the job. When I shared this story with my coworkers they laughed so hard and I couldn't help but laugh with them.

 

The moral of this story is to embrace life. The ups, the downs, and the sideways. Life is our only adventure so why not enjoy it? Also, never "dewrinkle" your jacket with other "delicate" items. 

 

 

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