If You Can't Say Somethin' Nice... Shut The Hell Up.
Okay okay, maybe that's not exactly how Thumper's mom said it when she spoke to her sweet little bunnies about kindness, but this is my spin on things, so I get to paraphrase as I see fit, right? Kindness is something I am certain needs to be taught not only at home but also in any collective environment as our children grow into young adults. I also believe that kindness should continue over into adulthood with some sort of required courses that allow you to keep some of the luxuries of being of age. Let's say, "oh, its your 30th birthday? Here is your new class about being kind to others." BOOM, continuing education credits for adulting. "Don't forget to get it done so you don't lose your license." Throwing in that expiration date would really spice things up. It would totally stink to get carded while buying my favorite bottle of Barefoot Bubbly and having to admit, "oh, I didn't complete my kindness class so I don't have my ID." While I would be the number one proponent for something like this, I have run into exorbitant amount of women who would ultimately have to live this admission of being unkind. I'm sure you're wondering where this entire thought process came from and I realize the actual practicality of this is absurd, but let me tell you a story. A few months ago, we went out for a night on the town. Yes, our tiny town does have a night life. We have restaurants and bars and the owners of these establishments are one of kind, who are amazing at keeping our little town thriving. While we were living out our adulting adventures, a woman said to my wife "the only reason you're happy now is because she has money." The "she" in her statement was me. When this happened, I had to check my feelings at the door. I had to break down my walls and dissect my emotions to conclude "why" this upset me. Was it because of the blatant rudeness in the statement? Was it that the sudden slap in the face that people really do judge us? Was it that somebody could truly be so miserable, they in turn want others to be miserable right alongside with them?
Judging others is something which we are all guilty. Whether or not we voice our judgement is part of our journey with kindness. Yes, every single one of us judge. It's in our nature. We judge people to see if we want to be friends with one another. We judge situations to learn if we are safe. We judge based on actions, words, clothes, and status. The difference in harmful judging is speaking your own insecurity and ignorance outloud to intentionally hurt another person. This was the situation with this woman we used to call a friend. She was blatantly voicing her opinion and judgement in order to be harmful and hateful to us.
I'm not going to say that the Love Bug and I have always been the most pleasant people. We both have experienced some pretty shitty moments in life which we have shown our rear ends. We don't live a perfect life and as we recently have celebrated our first wedding anniversary we also celebrate our journey as a couple through arguments and disagreements. We both hold onto the love we have for one another to work towards being the best communicators with each other. There, I said it, do you feel better knowing that we too, experience struggles just as millions of other couples? What I realized after this incident, was that other people have no clue about our lives. When the Love Bug and I started dating, we did NOT have money in the bank. We did not bring in a multiple six figure income. We did NOT have a CPA or financial advisor. We have worked hard to achieve these goals, TOGETHER. I am not sorry that others feel they can judge us for our financial success. We don't care what people say about us. We face each day knowing we will be judged and after this occurence, WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN. Do you know how freeing it is to NOT care about what others think? To go out into the world knowing YOU are living YOUR BEST LIFE!!
Don't let other women's judgements of you, dictate the life you live. If you want to wear glittery rainbows then good gracious, do it! If you want to build an empire, do it! If you want to partner with your spouse to build the life of your dreams, do it! People will judge you day in and day out. What others think about you, doesn't even include YOU. Their judgements are about them. So keep doing you and keep kindness at the front and center of your life.
Do unto others as you would have done unto you. I will continue to be kind to those who wrong me with actions or words because I refuse to be the "ugly" I see so wrong in our society.